I Am

I Am 

I am ugly. 

I am beautiful. 

I am a man. I am a woman. 

I am putrid, yet stay adrift in the wind.  

Never quite seeping into the mire...

Not yet. 

I am a monster.

Filled with carnal desires to tear flesh 

Bathe in sweat and bowels of Lush.

Yet this container locks it in 

And keeps my sanity in check.

Back to reality.

Tell myself I'm sick. Tell myself I'm sorry. 

Caress myself and tell myself I'm sorry.
Tell myself I'm disgusting.
Drenched in my saliva and tell me I'm digusting.
My sins oozing from my holes
And tell me I'm distorted.
My heart gushing through my pores
And tell me I'm crippled.
Gently kiss my lips and tell me
I'm alone.

- January 2014